Unapologetic Parenting
Carl Knickerbocker, JD is an Award-Winning divorced lawyer with 3 children in a thriving blended family. He's an emotional abuse survivor, parallel parenting advocate, and all-around sceptic of everything dealing with trendy-trendy coparenting and the family court system. He is the founder of Unapologetic Parenting, IG influencer, multiple year SuperLawyer, and passionate speaker on all topics dealing with divorce and parenting after divorce. Getting divorced does not mean you failed your kids. Coparenting should never be done at the expense of your sanity. Episodes cover strategy, boundaries, recovery, healing, and effective kid-raising tips. Join us for healing and learning!
Episodes
35 episodes
You Can't Coparent with a Narcissistic Ex
In this revealing episode of Unapologetic Parenting, host Carl Knickerbocker tackles the all-too-common struggle of trying to co-parent with a narcissistic ex, and why it often feels utterly impossible. Co-parenting typically requires ...
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Season 2
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Episode 5
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10:01
You Are Not Weak For Staying Too Long
We hear mixed messages about leaving relationships all the time. If only you were stronger, you would have left sooner. If only you were stronger, you would have stayed longer and tried harder. Weak people focus on themselves ...
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Season 2
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Episode 4
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3:37
Why The Court Treats The Abuser Like The Victim And The Victim Like The Abuser
Hypothesis: the heart of so many of the family court’s judgment errors boils down to the emotional illiteracy of the lawyers, judges, therapists, and other paraprofessionals attached to the system. The family court system...
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Season 2
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Episode 3
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6:05
When Court Ordered Coparenting Is Not In Anyone's Best Interests
Court-ordered coparenting is pretty much doomed to fail when one of the parents is highly narcissistic. When the courts take a one-size-fits-all approach to coparenting expectations and standards, they end up creating a sure-to-fail situa...
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Season 2
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Episode 2
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9:21
What To Document To Protect Your Sanity
When we deal with high-conflict and disordered coparents, it is vitally important to document certain things and collect data. In this episode, I discuss the importance of tracking data to establish patterns for the purpose of not only cl...
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11:09
Teaching Your Kids About Narcissists
We do not teach out kids about narcissism, borderline, and other disorders because of their other parent. We teach them about high-conflict individuals and about the importance of standards and boundaries because those lessons are crucial...
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11:31
Mantras For Dealing With A Narcissistic Coparent
We begin with the principle (the fact) that the narcissist's words and actions are caused by their disorder...not by you. Their words and actions are disordered, not personal.From there, we focus our attention on the things we lov...
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7:43
Uncomfortable Child Exchanges
Child exchanges can be uncomfortable and tense...been there! This episode discusses several potential remedies and rules of thumb for conducting child exchanges with a high-conflict or disordered coparent.
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Season 1
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Episode 20
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14:14
How Not To Get Baited In By The Narcissist
Narcissists seek attention, plain and simple. They thrive off of baiting others into conflict and needless interactions. The same generally goes for Borderlines and other various disordered exes.When baiting is an issue (i.e...
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Season 1
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Episode 19
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9:30
Handling The Narcissistic Parent's Lies And False Accusations
Narcissistic coparents, as well as Borderlines and other similarly disordered individuals, have a nasty habit of making up lies, fictitious events, and false allegations. Those of us who have dealt with such people know that there is no end to ...
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11:23
Getting The Court To See The Narcissist For Who They Are
Can we get the court to see the Narcissistic coparent for who they truly are? Most likely not, especially since the Family Court System is 1) not equipped to handle mental health matters 2) is predominantly trauma-uninformed and 3) financially ...
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13:18
Divorce Does Not Define You
ou are not defined by your divorce experience. Your value as a parent is not determined by a custody schedule. What your ex says and does is not a reflection of your worth.Shared custody does not make you a part time parent or less of a...
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Season 1
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Episode 18
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5:54
Covert Narcissists
We are generally well aware of what overt narcissists look like, but narcissism can manifest in different ways, including the covert or vulnerable narcissist. This episode touches on the traits of the covert narcissist, and then discusses...
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Season 1
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Episode 17
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19:55
When The Kids Are Failing School At The Other House
When The Kids Are Failing School At The Other HouseOften times when we step in to bail the other parent out, we are enabling them to continue failing as parents. We think we are helping the kids, and perhaps they do benefit in the short...
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8:51
Preparing for Crazy - AKA Preparing for The Ex's Lies
If you haven't discovered it already, many people seem to have a near limitless capacity to make stuff up and lie, especially in the divorce and coparenting context. This episode digs into these behavioral patterns and discusses strategie...
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Season 1
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Episode 16
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15:22
When The Other Parent Sucks At Being A Parent
It is difficult, if not impossible, to comprehend parents who literally do not show up for their kids...especially when that absentee or negligent parent is the other parent of your own child.Many times the child neglect is part of an a...
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18:50
Divorce Battle On Multiple Fronts
For those of us who have gone through the divorce process, we often figure out fairly quickly that there are more adversaries than just the ex. We are up against the ex as well as their divorce lawyer, who has a vested interest in stirrin...
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Season 1
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Episode 15
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23:25
Get Out. Stay Out. Stay Safe. How Not To End Up Assaulted.
In this episode I tell my story of how I messed up on my own rules and ended up assaulted, which resulted in me having a permanent neck injury. When it is time to move out...get out, stay out, stay safe. If you must go back to the h...
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Season 1
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Episode 16
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11:27
Narcissistic Parent Games - Lesser of Two Evils
Narcissistic parents often work to create situations where you are forced to choose between two unsavory choices. They don't want you to have you time. They don't want you to have a good time. So they create situations that feed them attention ...
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Season 1
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Episode 15
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12:03
Teach Your Kids That They Are Free To Keep Or Drop Any Family Traits
It is okay to teach your kids that they can keep or drop any family traits and practices that they want. There are family habits and values that lead to great life, and there are family habits and traits that may lead the kids away from the typ...
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Season 1
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Episode 14
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5:09
Murphy's Law For Narcissistic Exes and Parents
When we apply Murphy’s Law to a narcissistic ex, we find that anything they can possibly jack with they will jack with. If there is a situation that they can make more difficult in order to gain attention, then they will. If there is an obvious...
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Season 1
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Episode 13
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5:44
Spotting A Narcissist's Fake Apologies
We all make mistakes, and we all occasionally make mistakes that hurt other people. When we own those mistakes and offer genuine apologies, we can work to soothe hurt feelings, heal relationships, and rebuild trust.Narcissists rarely, i...
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Season 1
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Episode 12
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7:57
How To Talk To Your Kids About The Divorce
When we tell our kids that a divorce is occurring, they do not need to know the adult details behind the decision. When parents overshare details in the name of “truth” and “vulnerability,” they are often speaking from spite and trying to creat...
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Season 1
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Episode 12
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17:33
Narcissistic Exes Often Accuse Others Of The Very Things They Are Guilty Of
Extreme accusations that come in the absence of authentic evidence are often self-accusatory projections. For example, when an ex makes accusations of “abuse” in the absence of actual evidence of abuse, then the accusation often indicates that ...
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Season 1
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Episode 11
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11:29